


I Don't Want To Be Alone

by mayawrites95 (mayarox95)



Series: Wish Upon A Star [106]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 10:31:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6420166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayarox95/pseuds/mayawrites95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: i know u did a prompt about graham a while back but i would some cs angst if u are up to it. while at the station emma and killian are kissing in the same spot graham died at. deep in the kiss emma says"oh graham" killian tells emma that he will never be enough for her and then leaves. emma tries to go after him but he is already gone so she calls her dad and asks him to talk to killian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want To Be Alone

She felt his fingers grip her hair as he lifted her up onto the desk. Emma pulled Killian in tightly as she wrapped her arms around his torso to draw him in tightly. She felt content as she settled in to his arms. Killian gave her a sense of happiness, one like she had never felt before. She had never felt so secure as she did now; not with Neal, or even Walsh.

They were in the Sheriff’s station after their tenth or so date. It had been a few months since they had gotten together. Storybrooke had begun to calm after helping Elsa settle into the town, a task which definitely had not been easy. Neal had started to sleep through the night, which made Snow and David two very happy parents. Emma had moved out a while back, and together she and Henry had found a new place to live by the docks. Of course he alternated between there and at Regina’s. Emma was rarely alone, seeing how Killian often spent the night with her.

But somehow sitting on this desk, she felt slightly guilty. The last time she had been here, the person she had feelings for had collapsed in front of her and died. And being here with Killian had a way of bringing back all the fears of losing a loved one once more.

“Oh Graham,” Emma sighed. She hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but somehow the words wrapped with fear slipped out. She hadn’t meant for it to happen.

Killian pulled away instantly from her the moment her words reached his ears. She could see the hurt in his eyes, and she knew instantly that she had messed up.

“Emma,” he said in a pained voice. “I can’t do this,” he said pulling further away from her. “I’m not enough for you; I can never be enough for you. You should love the person who you are with wholeheartedly, and you still can barely open yourself up to me fully. Goodbye Emma.”

She watched as he left the station, frozen. She tried to call out for him; tried to get him not to leave. But the words wouldn’t come to her. When she regained the ability to move, she ran out to the street as fast as she could, but when she got there, he was gone. She looked around frantically, but it was almost as if he just had vanished. Emma tried to look around at all the places he could be; the docks, the parks, Grannies, and even their apartment, but he was nowhere to be found.

Finally, she frantically knocked on her parents’ apartment. She opened it and saw her father rubbing his eyes. Emma hadn’t realised how late it was, but seeing her father’s current state allowed it to sink in.

“Emma?” he asked her tiredly. He took one look at her, and immediately became alert. “What’s wrong?”

“Killian,” Emma said not even caring as a few tears slipped down her face. “He’s gone.”

David immediately ushered her into the apartment and got her to sit on the couch. He allowed her to take a few deep breathes before asking her questions.

“Did he hurt you?” David demanded, and Emma knew that beneath his calm exterior, there was anger fuming beneath the surface. Her father had immediately accepted the relationship between the two of them, but he had warned Killian about hurting her and what the consequences would be.

“No,” Emma said softly. “I hurt him. Dad, I’ve tried to let him in several times, and I’m slowly doing it, but I hurt him. I let him think he wasn’t important to me and now he’s gone. I-I don’t know what to do. Dad, I think I love him.”

Her father placed his arms around her body and drew her in for a hug. She rested her head on his chest and tried to calm herself as he soothed her.

“Stay here for the night,” her dad told her. “I don’t want you to be alone. Now, I’m going to try and find Killian and talk to him, okay? Everything will work out, I promise you.”

She fell asleep shortly after, not noticing as her father slipped out into the night.

~ ES & KJ ~

Killian sat on the ground as he drank from the flask. He always knew that one day he would lose Emma. Being with her was always too good to be true, and now the day had come. He has always known that she was too good for him and finally their relationship had come to an end. He was alone just as he had been for most of his life.

“Killian, why are you drinking all alone, in the middle of nowhere past midnight?” he heard the all too familiar voice call out.

“David,” Killian pretended to slur. Maybe if his friend though he was drunk he could avoid the conversation that was about to happen.

“Drop the act, Jones. You and I both know that you’re completely sober. Now, what happened with Emma? She came to my house, devastated because she thought she messed up. Care to tell me why you just left her like that?” David asked him firmly.

“Because she could never love me. I know she tries, but deep down she could never be with me. Not after everything I’ve done. She uttered the name of a past love when we were together, and it just added to the list of reasons why she could never want to be with me,” Killian said sadly.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. If there’s something you and my daughter have in common, it’s that you both want love, but it still somewhat terrifies you,” David said knowingly. “Killian, when I first met my daughter, she refused to accept who we were. It took her going through a portal to the enchanted forest for her to come to terms with who we were to her, and even then she didn’t call us _mom_ or _dad_ regularly until returning from her trip to the past with you. She has trouble letting in people but she tries so hard. She cares so much for you, Killian. And I didn’t really know her much when she had met Graham. But he was the first person she had trusted since Neal hurt her, and he died in her arms; heart crushed by Regina. It just keeps proving her theory that everyone she loves leaves her right, and it terrifies her that you’re going to leave her too.”

“Which I did,” Killian realised. “I have to go find her.”

“She’s at my place. I can let you stay over for the night in her old room, but I suggest you wait until the morning before you talk to her,” David advised him.

Killian nodded as he followed the prince back to his home. He knew he had to make amends with her, but she deserved to sleep. He could wait to the morning to talk to her.

~ ES & KJ ~

Emma woke the next morning in the bed that used to be hers. As soon as she remembered why she was there, she felt herself be weighted with guilt.

“Awake, Love?” she heard a low voice rumble. She got up in the bed and saw Killian sitting in a chair across from her.

“Killian?” she asked, unsure if she was truly awake or if she was dreaming.

“I’m here, Lass,” Emma heard him say. He got up from his chair and sat beside her on the bed. “Emma, I am so, so sorry for leaving you last night. I never should have walked out on you. I was upset and I’ve been so worried for so long that you couldn’t love me, and I let my fears get the best of me.”

Emma leaned over on the bed and cupped his face. “Killian, you have a talent with words. You can say all these beautiful things to me and I know more than anything that they are true. And they make me feel so happy beyond anything. But I’ve never been really good at expressing myself. I have all these feelings inside of me, but I don’t know how to say the words. I can try though, so here goes. I love you, Killian Jones. I’ve been struggling to say those words for so long, but I want to say them to you. I love you so much and I don’t know how to live without you anymore. You mean so much to me. Killian, you’ve been there for me all the times I’ve needed you; you’ve followed me across realms to help me. Graham was important to me, but I never loved him. I could have, but I never felt anything for him anywhere near as much as I feel for you. Please don’t leave,” she said as her voice trembled.

He immediately pulled her into his arms, “Never, Emma. I love you more than anything and I will always fight for you, even if you don’t need me to save you all the time.”

She nestled her head in his chest as she took comfort in his arms. “It’s still early,” she said softly. “Let’s go back to bed for a while.”

Killian grinned as he got under the covers with her. He wrapped his arms around her as she cuddled into him. They were both so tired, and they slowly slipped into a deep sleep. Emma had dreams of Killian and the future they would have together. She knew that as long as she had Killian by her side she would never be alone ever again.


End file.
